Tilly’s funeral on Friday was a success – if that’s the right word. To be honest, it’s hard to know what to say, and it’s hard to find the right word or phrase. ‘Went well’ doesn’t seem quite right, ‘nice’ and ‘happy’ don’t reflect the sadness of the event and ‘ok’ is too lacking in emotion.
The service was hard but felt heartfelt. This was followed by an afternoon tea in Ennerdale, which saw people smiling and chatting, despite the circumstances.
I gave a reading at the service, and I wanted to share a copy of the words I wrote for my daughter. I hope you like them.
Today we say goodbye.
We only held you for a matter of minutes, but it took only a fraction of those to feel a love all-encompassing, a love unequivocal, and a love as strong as you.
Your mummy and I know just how lucky we were to have you in our lives, even though this time was so short.
We know now, that we will take you with us, wherever we go and wherever life takes us. And we know that this will keep us strong, as you watch over us in the days, weeks and years to come.
Right now, we’re so very sad – the sky is a little darker and our lives are a little less full.
We all know that if babies survived on love alone, then you would have made it to a ripe old age. But sadly that is not how the world works. I wish I wasn’t standing here now, reading these words, without you by our sides.
Instead, we will use the memories we have of our time with you; of feeling your breath on our cheeks, of holding your tiny, perfect hands in ours, of your rosy red lips and of your hands and arm resting against your face as they were in the womb.
We’ll take these memories of your beauty and your strength and we’ll cling to these to help us reach the end of every single day.
And we know that, over time, these memories will make the days appear that little bit brighter again.
While you might not be with us in person on these occasions, we know you will always be there in spirit.
So today, we must say goodbye.
TIlly. We always loved you, and we always will.
Love from Mummy and Daddy.