In praise of comfort food: soup

Earlier today I shared a picture of part of my lunch – a cup-a-soup (leek and potato, for the record). A friend challenged me to write a blog about it.

The lunch that inspired this blog

I’m rarely one to turn down a challenge, so here we are.

But of course, this blog isn’t really about powdered soups in a mug, but what they represent: comfort and convenience.

Soup is one of my favourite foods. In fact, my favourite ice breaker question is to ask whether you’d rather give up soup or gravy. Forget Brexit, this is the question that really divides the nation.

I’d always go for soup. It’s a versatile meal for all occasions – fit for a banquet (Chinese or otherwise) or to dunk your sandwich in. The flavour options are endless – you can safely say you’ve not tried them all.

Homemade ramen

From chowder to broth and ramen through to bisque – soup covers it all.

Some of my favourite meals have started with, or even comprised solely of soup.

From the delicious, light pea and mint at Mathilde’s in Grasmere, to the rich, intense turnip broth at L’enclume, soup has filled a hole. The lobster bisque at the Cartford Inn was sublime, as was the hearty chowder at Wolf House at Silverdale. 

A bisque as good as it gets

While they were very different, they’ve all stuck in my mind. 

Soup can be light and healthy, when you’re in the throws of your New Year’s Resolutions or it can be decadent – creamy, thick and warming to get you through the cold nights.

Soup’s the great leveller – anywhere worth its salt should do a good soup – be it a cafe, restaurant or football ground (anyone for Bovril?). 

After all, it’s one of the easiest meals to cook. All you need is a few vegetables and some stock and you’re on to a winner. 

Thick and tasty chowder

But make a few tweaks or add a bit more and you can really elevate it. Things like chorizo or bacon can really lift a simple soup, and pulses or pasta can thicken a broth. Herbs can transform not only the flavour but also the appearance. And lets not forget that cream, well, cream makes everything taste better.

So cup-a-soup might not be at the fine dining end of the scale, but for simplicity, can it be beaten? I’m not so sure. It was certainly a fine partner for today’s ham sandwich. 

That’ll do for me.

Here ends my short love story to soup.

Review: Rudy’s, Bennetts Hill, Birmingham

I once described slices of pizza as crispy shards of joy. Or similar. Regardless of my choice of words on that day, my love for pizza has been long established.

It’s what pizza should look like.

Which is probably why, a month or two after my first visit, I returned to Rudy’s in Birmingham rather than searching out another venue in Britain’s second city. 

Birmingham is a place with a burgeoning dining scene, and plenty of places to try new cuisines and inventive ways of serving them. (For the record, if you’re looking to find somewhere to eat, then your best best it to hunt out Bite Your Brum on your favourite social network, and follow her guidance. It was she that led me here, and for that I will be forever grateful).

Rudy’s fits that description to a tee. It offers impressive pizza, quite unlike the heavy, unwieldy and stodgy efforts we’re used to in this country. 

But it also challenges my description; makes me reevaluate my thoughts on what makes a truly great slice.

Yes, it should be crisp and light. Yes, you want shard of joy. But you also want softness. You want warmth. You want it to be moist. And most of all, you want it to be an effort. Don’t you?

After all, you’re rewarded for it.

Rudy’s pizza is just that. The slices are crispy on the outside, the toppings are light, but despite the, they still flex in the middle. That is my pizza-epiphany. A light, crisp slice of pizza might be easier to eat, but it’s not as tasty. It’s dry, for a start. It’s less fun, for another. And it doesn’t do justice to the toppings you’ve hand-picked with love. 

It also means you need to find a new way of eating. You won’t get a slice into your mouth like the American’s do. You need to double-fold. First you fold the end of the pizza towards the crust. Then fold again, until you’re left with a former-slice that is both crunch and chewy.

My patented (it’s not) double-fold approach.

So Rudy’s fits the bill as one of the new style of pizza restaurants that have popped up. Modern, vibrant and, well, not particularly Italian.

The decor is minimalist, industrial chic. Picture bare walls, chalkboards and visible air ducts and you’re not far from the mark.

Industrial chic.

The drinks are just as contemporary with local craft beer on offer next to high quality cocktails and decent soft drinks.

If this sounds too much like a cliche, identi-kit eaterie, then don’t worry. The pizza changes everything. This is what separates it from the countless other pizza restaurants in the city – including one just down the street.

The menu is suitably light – always a sign of somewhere confident in their offering. The specials’ board always includes interesting options, and veggies and vegans are just as well served as nduja-loving Cumbrians.

They offer other options than pizza, but really, what’s the point. I can’t even tell you what they were. I bet they are good, but not as good as pizza.

My choice was topped with the aforementioned Italian sausage, along with a tasty, tangy tomato sauce, a delicious tease of mozzarella and just enough chilli to lift this pizza to that next level.

The staff and service manage to tread that fine line between cool, warm and pretentious perfectly; the staff look like they could be somewhere else, but they really don’t want to be.

When I visited, I was one of only a handful of customers (well it was 3pm on a Friday, but you’ve got to take your pizza fix when you can get it), but despite that, the welcome was as warm as the pizza was hot and the beer chilled. The staff were attentive, and the food arrived as quickly as proper pizza should.

So if you’re in Birmingham this Christmas, and you’re getting sick of faux German food and drink, heads towards the slightly warmer climes of Italy’s ultimate export. If the crowds are blocking your way, then head uphill until you get to Rudy’s. 

You must go and eat pizza using the double-fold. Just like my mama used to say.

I was in Birmingham for the brilliiant Comms2point0 UnAwards2019. These are the highlight of my year, every year. You can find out more by following @comms2point0 on Twitter.

Christmas: a time for cheese

Earlier this week, I received an email from Dukeshill. Amongst the delights on offer was their Christmas cheese platter (a mere £81, if you’re that way inclined).

The email got me thinking

I love Christmas, and I love cheese. The two really should go hand-in-hand. After all, a well rounded platter of delicious, rich cheeses; garnished with intense, sweet chutneys and festive nuts, alongside some biscuits could almost sum up the season.

But, despite always buying cheese for Christmas, I rarely appreciate it – really appreciate it.

I’ve realised this is because it’s never given centre-stage; the spotlight it deserves.

Cheese shouldn’t bookend a huge meal, nor should it jostle for prominence on an overcrowded buffet table next to pipes of Pringles, sweaty sausage rolls and triangles of turkey sandwiches (kept moist only thanks to smears of cranberry).

Cheese is a buffet. Cheese is the meal. Cheese fills the table.

So for a truly memorable cheese board this Christmas, abandon the prefix of the meal and push the buffet to the side for another day.

And go the full hog. Dig out the nuts, find your classic chutney and your preferred pickle. Bring out the bread, bask in the biscuits and then bathe them in butter. It’s Christmas, after all!

What does a good Christmas cheese board look like? Well, for the record, I’d recommend:

  • A stonking blue (I’ve always loved Mrs Bell’s blue)
  • A vintage, crumbling cheddar
  • A creamy soft cheese (I’d recommend Eden Valley Brie or Delice de Bourgogne)
  • A hard, sharp cheese (I like Manchego or even Parmesan, but if you want British then why not a Cornish Yarg?)

I think that four is plenty, but can you have too much cheese? There are at least half a dozen other Cumbrian and North West cheeses I could add to the list above.

Worried that you need more than cheese on your cracker? Go on then, chuck some charcuterie on there, too.

Accompany those with the things I’ve mentioned and you’ve got a good night. Add some port or red wine and you’ve got a brilliant one.

Review: The Cartford Inn, Little Eccleston

Nestled, almost hidden, half-way between Blackpool and Garstang is the Cartford Inn in the village of Little Eccleston.

The varied and tempting menu, which mixes pub classics with decadence.

The pub is built next to a private toll bridge, and whilst this might give the appearance of being a barrier to entry, the food should be considered anything but.

The inn has been a presence in the village for centuries, but in recent times has transformed, chameleon-like from a mere local into a Lancashire food destination.

On a busy Saturday evening, the inn provides a warm welcome to drinkers and diners alike. We ventured to the Cartford following an evening at Blackpool illuminations. This meant our booking of 9pm was later than we’d normally care to dine. Despite this, the pub was still full and continued to welcome fellow diners even after we arrived.

Following a short wait – which offered us time to consider our drink and dining choices, and soak up the eclectic decor – we were sat at a comfy table in one of the cosy rooms.

The bar offers a welcoming range of drinks for all tastes, including a handful of decent real ale choices, gins for every week of the year, and wine and cocktail choices that would be the envy of most bars. Our picks were served quickly and without fuss.

While the bar was impressive, it was the food that really made this trip memorable. From the moment we arrived and were handed the oversized, A3 menus, we knew we were in for a treat.

The options combined traditional pub classics, with brasserie and restaurant dishes. It was clear that the menu had been put together with intelligence and that each option was thought through to ensure flavours complemented each other.

Our starters demonstrated this. Charlotte opted for an intense Jerusalem artichoke and goats’ cheese gnocchi, which was served in a delicate, fresh mushroom consomme with confit tomato and pickled mushrooms.

Each element added to the dish – offering a contrast of sharp and sweet flavours, with the fried gnocchi delivering a crisp texture against the smooth liquor. 

I went for a lobster bisque which was accompanied by fresh lobster and scallop, a fish gratin and cheese on toast.

That bisque. The only bisque for me.

Whilst this sounded like a busy dish, the elements were perfectly matched. The lobster bisque was the star of the show – the rich, smooth sauce was beautifully flavoured with lobster and sherry. It was silky smooth, and the pieces of seafood, gratin and cheese toast all tasted delicious when combined with it.

This was a course that has stayed with me since that point. I can still taste the bisque to this day. Long may that continue!

After starters this good, we had high hopes of the main course, and were not disappointed.

Charlotte chose the steak suet pudding which is a pub classic that managed to impress Jay Rayner when he visited. I chose fresh turbot – something I rarely turn down when I spot it on the menu.

Two different dishes, but both were impressive once again. It was clear to see why the suet pudding proves so popular – it was as dense as you’d expect a suet pudding to be, but with a light, warm, hug of a filling. The meat was soft and tender, and served with a gravy that once again emphasised that this is a restaurant that knows its sauces. 

The turbot was a simple affair, but with high quality fish, that’s just what you want. The beautifully cooked portion was served with a light butter sauce and fresh vegetables. It was light yet filling – the perfect main.

Despite the choices sounding tempting, we decided to swerve desserts on this occasion. We instead crossed the border back from Lancashire to Cumbria, knowing we’d return soon enough.

As well as delicious food, the Cartford Inn offers comfortable accommodation, with an eye for the extravagant. This includes two quirky cabins nestled in the grounds.

If it were up to me, I’d suggest going for the food, but stay the night.

Find out more, here.

Review: The Yan at Broadrayne

Roast beef platter from the side

The clink of glasses. The clatter of cutlery. The hum of the kitchen. And the murmer of content diners.

These are all good noises to hear when you enter a restaurant. But this is especially true when you enter the warmth of a bustling bistro on a Monday evening.

Mondays are the dead zone. So many places in the Lake District close on Mondays. Weekend guests have long since hit the M6 and locals are more likely to dine at home. However, some guests stay longer and need somewhere to dine. And for our quartet, Monday was the only evening we were all free.

Which is why, at 7:30 on a cold Monday evening in late October, we entered the Yan at Broadrayne.

As well as the heat and the sounds, we were greeted by a dining room two-thirds full. As I say, not at all bad for a Monday.

The welcome we received was as warm as the bistro itself. Friendly, attentive staff quickly sat us, offered us drinks from a decent selection, explained the menu, and offered us tips on what to have.

Drinks options included local ale and craft beer, quirky cocktails, a decent wine list, and some better options for this designated driver.

Starters were only needed if we were particularly hungry. Well we were. And we were trying somewhere new, so how could we say no?

In fact, we all plumped for the delicious soup of the day. The day’s choice was curried parsnip and pear. An option that sounds near perfect to me. In fact, the only thing that could make it sound better to me was this line on the menu: ‘served with grated gruyere and homemade croutons’.

Silky parsnip and pear soup

The soup was silky, sweet and indulgent. The hearty bowl staved off hunger, but made the waitress’ words of warning echo in my head.

Main courses at the Yan really are the centre-piece. In fact, their menu is built around sharing platters for two people. The options included roast beef, a fish platter, roast pork and a veggie choice. There are also around half a dozen other main course choices, if you’re not as keen on sharing, including a burger of the day. On this occasion, it was lamb from the farm – minimal food miles here.

Roast beef platter from above

My partner and I had our hearts set on the roast beef platter, and it’s fair to say we weren’t disappointed.

The platters are big on theatre – served on a huge slab of wood, with dishes of deliciousness for us to try and politely share. Ours included thick, juicy brisket; tender veggies; mini stuffed jacket potatoes and bubbling, creamy cauliflower cheese. Oh and a jug of thick, rich gravy. Of course.

Together these made for an amazing roast dinner. Being honest, I’d probably not have chose roast beef, but when you present it in this way, it takes on a new light – greater than the sum of its parts.

The star, as you might expect, was the beef. Thick and moist, with a rich, golden curl of butter-soft fat on the side. It was worth the journey from West Cumbria for this alone.

The thick beef with curl of golden fat.

The warning about needing to be hungry proved apt, so I didn’t bother with dessert. The choices all looks suitably decadent, and the samples I got from the rest of the table proved this to be the case.

A thoroughly decent flat white completed the meal for me, and ensured I was wide awake for the drive home.

The Yan has only been open a few months, but already has a great name for itself. It’s clear to see why Grace Dent, amongst others, have raved about their experience.

Be warned – it gets pretty busy. In fact, you might find a Monday night is the best time to secure a table.

The burger of the day - lamb from the farm.

Commscamp North – Looking after our mental health

Looking back towards the Newlands Valley from Knott Rigg and Ard Crags, on a walk from August

I’ve already blogged about Commscamp North which I recently attended. But I also wanted to talk about another of the sessions – on mental health and wellbeing.

Rather than consider the things an organisation could and should be doing to improve mental health, this session focused on the practical things we can all do to help ourselves.

I’ve traditionally considered my mental health to be quite strong, but like lots of people, I get stressed and have times where I feel more under the weather than others – both physically and mentally. This was particularly the case last year.

So, the tips that were shared at this session were incredibly useful. I thought I’d record them here in case they could help anyone else. Some of them are pretty obvious, but I do think it helps to see them written in black and white. Feel free to chip in with your own in the comments section. I’d love to hear them.

As with my previous blog, thanks again go to Leanne Ehren. She led this session and shared her personal experiences – in her typically frank, honest and engaging style.

Get out of the office

Taking some time out for a stroll and some fresh air can do you the world of good. If you’re having a meeting with your boss, why not make that a walking meeting. You might find it less stressful.

Talk to people

Most mental health charities encourage people to talk to someone if they’re not feeling alright, and this really is good advice. The old adage of a problem shared being a problem halved does ring true.

Ask someone (ask twice)

The reverse of the above – if you’re not sure if a friend or colleague is ok, then ask them. If they give a short response, or it doesn’t sound honest, ask them again. But do make sure you have the time to listen to their response.

No meetings at lunch, and take a break

This is something we can all do fairly easily. Block out lunchtimes in your diary and make sure you take a break. It is perfectly reasonable to turn down most meeting requests if they clashes with your lunch break. Don’t forget, if you’re working a full day, a break is a legal entitlement.

The stress bucket

This is a way to think about stress and how to relieve it. Imagine there’s a bucket you carry with you which slowly fills up when you experience different types of stress.

Sometimes you feel strong enough to carry a lot of stress, but it’s important to find activities which help you lighten the load. Think about what they are, and whether increasing these will help empty the bucket.

Where to get support

Lots of organisations provide support and guidance on helping your own mental health. If you feel able, you could proactively look for some of the support networks that are available for when you’re not feeling as good.

Structure

Most of us benefit from structure in our working lives. Making a to-do list and trying to minimise unexpected intrusions to your working day might help. Even working communications, where lots of what we do is reactive, you can still achieve this by being prepared, and controlling what you can.

Owning a project

There is evidence that shows that people perform better when they are given a specific task to own and deliver from start to finish. Is there a piece of work that you could take on and deliver in this way? Could you discuss working like this with your manager?

Reasonable adjustments

Employers should make reasonable adjustments for people who have disabilities or mental health problems. This can cover a wide range of things, and the adjustments don’t need to be big changes.

Red amber green

Someone suggested that their team does a simple check in at the start of their meetings. People give a red, amber or green rating about how they are feeling. They don’t discuss this further in the meeting, but it helps people to understand others’ state of mind. People can then discuss things further outside the room.

Commscamp North – campaigns

The amazing Commscamp North took place in Bradford last week. It was my first commscamp for two years, and it was very much a welcome return.

This year, I pitched a session on campaigns, and was pleased to lead this session.

Although, by lead I mean, toss a ball marked ‘campaigns’ into the air and watch and nod as a group of thirty-odd comms pros grabbed it and offered their thoughts.

Where I work, we’re starting to use campaigns more, and move to a proactive campaigning approach from a more reactive one. With this in mind, I thought it’d be useful to know what others felt made a good campaign.

There was some great discussion and some fantastic tips. I’ve summarised these below.

If it feels like I’m teaching you how to suck eggs, then relax in the knowledge that your campaigns are on the right lines.

Your audience is key

I mean, we all know this. But it doesn’t hurt to have this reminder right at the start. A campaign probably involves a call to action – a change in behaviour you’d like to see. Well that’s great, but make sure you know who you are targeting.

What does success look like?

This is absolutely key. If you are not clear about what you plan to deliver from the outset, then you have no idea whether you have achieved it – nor for that matter, when you have achieved it.

Just as important is ensuring that your deliverables and your benefits are measurable (and of course, we’re looking for outcomes rather than outputs).

CAN – The Council Advertising Network – can offer technological solutions to help understand and measure this

Timing and resource

Campaigns are inevitably more resource intensive and take longer to deliver than other, more routine communications activity. Make sure you’re aware of this, and make realistic plans, from the outset.

Noise

You’re not the only person talking to your audience. You’re not even the only person in your organisation talking to them. Who else is talking to them, and what are they saying? If you are aware of what else is happening in your audience’s world, then you can better shape your communications to reflect this.

Getting it right

The best campaigns are those which are in tune with their audience – ones that people ‘get’. You might not get this right first time. But you can fine tune things.

Do some message testing – there are different approaches, but in simple terms, you want to find out what message people best respond to. This could be AB testing, or different communications for different audiences.

Respond – if something doesn’t appear to be working, find out why, and tweak your campaign. Some people might see this as a negative – that you didn’t get it right first time, but nothing could be further from the truth.

The best campaigns are those that react to feedback and improve things.

Evidence based

Another obvious point, but you have to base your campaign on evidence. Don’t make assumptions about what will work. Find out, and shape your campaign accordingly.

Target your audience

This links to the above, but think about the best ways of reaching your audience, and how you can target them. Think about the data you have on this audience, where you got this data, and whether this can help you reach them.

A simple example: if you’re a council, do you send recycling information to your new council tax registrants? Do you ask them to sign up for your newsletter? And if not, why not?

Getting help

If you’ve seen a campaign that’s worked, why not ‘steal with pride’ some of what worked?

Beyond that, Dan Slee and Comms2point0 have some brilliant resources. The latter will soon offer a dedicated Campaign Bank, packed with the best resources on the interwebs.

And finally

Apologies that there is a lot to take in above. I hope you read it all and think it’s second nature. That really does mean you’re doing it right.

One final piece of advice would be to keep it simple. The easier your key messages (and your calls to action) are to understand, the more likely you are to succeed.

The discussion on the day was insightful and fast paced, and it was clear that those in the room had seen and delivered some amazing campaigns, including the brilliant, Ask for Angela from Marianne Marshall and her colleagues at Lincolnshire Council.

And finally, finally

I had never visited Bradford before. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was blown away. Stunning architecture, friendly people, urban parks, and amazing curry made for a great few days.

Thanks to Bradford’s Josephine Graham and Albert Freeman for hosting, and to everyone else who made the event a success – including Dan Slee, Bridget Aherne, Leanne Ehren and Kate Bentham – who is without doubt the queen of cakes. She led this year’s baking efforts, which raised hundreds of pounds for Macmillan Cancer Support, who are supporting our good friend and ‘camper’ Emma Rodgers.

The best places to eat: Brunch

I promised more food blogs, so here is my first.

Because people know I have a bit of a passion for food, they often ask me where to go for thing x, y, or z. When asked, I usually panic and offer places off the top of my head. 

They’re always good, but they might not be my definitive list. I worry – what if I missed somewhere amazing and whoever asked ends up in only the second best place for tapas and cocktails? The struggle is real.

So in the first in a series of blogs, I thought I’d give my views on the best places to eat. In this blog, I am focusing on brunch in my home county of Cumbria. 

What do you think of my suggestions? Am I missing anywhere? Let me know in the comments or on the socials.

Brunch is a big thing. Even in Cumbria. I think we were slightly later to the party than some, but we’re here now, and we’re making up for our late arrival by going full pelt. This means a decent selection of venues across the county now offer incredibly Instagrammable and utterly unique takes on this least English of meals.

Homeground

Arguably the one that sets the bar. Homeground, in Windermere, only offers brunch. If you’re going to focus on only one course, then you’d best do it well. And boy do they.

When you think of brunch, you think of things like waffles, buttermilk fried chicken, pancakes and eggs; and they’re all available here. All have a twist, and along with a menu that rotates regularly, are surely designed to ensure you return time and time again.

On top of brunch staples, you get the best accompaniments in the form of outstanding coffee and home-baked cakes and pastries. 

I’ve only managed to sample one of their homemade doughnuts once, but I’ve looked out for them on every single visit since. 

Be warned though, getting a table can be a challenge. So be prepared to wait.


Trust me, you won’t regret that decision. 

Mathilde’s 

Brunch isn’t English, but then it probably isn’t particularly Scandinavian either. But that doesn’t stop Mathilde’s in Grasmere from providing their Northern European take on their early day servings.

Your options range from their sizeable Viking’s breakfast, to a more Norwegian choice of dill cured gravelax. 

Homemade sourdough toast and delicious preserves offer a lighter option, but all of these can be washed down with a kick, with both bucks fizz and bloody marys on offer. And if you want something more traditional – a bacon sandwich or Skyr yoghurt can be yours – depending on which direction your taste buds and waistline are headed.

Mathilde’s adjoins the Heaton Cooper Studio and art shop, and the modern, light and spacious decor all make for a relaxing trip which is sure to get your creative juices flowing.

The Lingholm Kitchen

When you arrive at Lingholm and try to find a table, you might find it hard to believe this amazing canteen is only a few years old.

Lingholm has a proud history and inspired Beatrix Potter back in the day. The new kitchen has transformed what was previously a traditional tea room into a lively, vibrant space.


If you manage to find a table, you’re still likely to have to queue to order, but this will give you time to narrow down the menu choices. With the selection on offer, this is no bad thing. Brunch options are available all day and include the now-classic-of-the-genre, smashed avocado toast, lots of egg options, and breakfast sandwiches and well as their homemade smoky beans. A full breakfast is available for those who want it all, and lunchtime options are plentiful too.

When you head to the counter to order, an alluring display of homemade cakes, scones and treats might test your resolve or your meal choices. 

While at Lingholm, you can explore the grounds and walled garden, or simply decide whether to eat in the main room, on the terrace or in the overflow greenhouse. If it’s busy, you won’t get a choice.

Comida

Kendal’s Comida is one of my favourite places to hang out. It’s got a modern Mediterranean vibe and always feels like where the cool people go.

The fact that the food is always exceptional only adds to the incentive to head into the south Lakes.

As the name suggests, Comida does food with a Spanish twist, and their brunch options are no different. This means you are lucky enough to be offered chorizo and paprika along with your eggs. What’s not to love?

They also serve my all time favourite breakfast choice of pan con tomato y jamon. It’s a simple choice, but really does pack a punch.

Food is served all day, and as the day turns into night the canteen vibe sublty changes to the bar scene, much like any good Mediterranean haunt.

The question I fear the most

Today is World Mental Health Day. It’s also the second day of Baby Loss Awareness Week.

This tells me a) that there are a lot of awareness days – and lots of them are important and b) that it might be an appropriate time for a post about both subjects.

Earlier this year, I attended a festival with a group of friends I didn’t know very well. It was a great event, and I got to know lots of new people, who do similar work to me, have similar interests, and were generally a similar age.

This meant that I got asked the question I fear the most, quite a lot.

And what is that question?

“Do you have any children Ian?”

On the face of it, it’s a simple, straightforward question, and it’s obviously not one designed to offend or cause a sinking feeling in my stomach.

When I am asked that question, there are two possible answers – the long one or the short one. Or the truth or not the truth.

The short answer is the easier one:

“No, I don’t.”

But of course, that really isn’t the truth. The honest answer takes longer to explain and is quite a lot to tell people who I don’t know.

The reality is that I struggle to choose which answer to give, and I then struggle to get the words out.

Telling people, I don’t have a child sticks in my throat – it feels like I am denying the existence of Tilly. But choosing to tell people about her means I must find the words. That can be hard enough at the best of times, but it’s especially so with people I don’t know very well or when I or they don’t have much time.

Whenever I make what I consider the right choice, and tell people about Tilly, their reaction is positive. People are supportive and happ that I’ve chosen to talk about her. They all agree that I am a father and that I should never forget or choose not to talk about Tilly.

So that’s what I will do.

After all, how I can I say that baby loss shouldn’t be a taboo subject if I avoid it myself?

I know that my mental health receives a bounce when I do mention her, and people want to listen.

Thank you to everyone I’ve had this conversation with at work and everyone I met at Comms Unplugged. You’ve all been so supportive. It means the world.